Up until now, most of my posts have been about games, and writing, but I really think it’s time to expand some of what I’d like to do with this blog. After all, it really is just about life. My life, the lives of those I love, and perhaps the lives of those who might be interested in what I think. That’s why a writer writes, right?Okay. On to the topic at hand!
There’s a hell of a lot of things in the world to be negative about. Death rates up there at the top, at least in my book, whether it’s my own death or the deaths of those I love. All in all, I really think death sucks! Of course, prolonged torture before death, sucks even more!
I suppose, we’re all only going to die just once, regardless of whether it’s after a losing battle with disease, decapitation by a crazed lunatic, or of Alzheimer's, where we’ll just forget who we are, which is probably the saddest way to go. At least with decapitation we’ll be thinking, “Dear God! Why the hell are you letting this crazed lunatic cut Wade Buffington’s head off! Crap this hurts! What the… [fade to black]”
But you know, in spite of all the terrible shit in life we can worry about, I think I’ve finally come to the place in my life that I really don’t give a shit about who’s president, the economy, socialists, communists, terrorists, or even ass holes on the road who are trying to kill me with their insane driving (actually, I probably care about that, since it brings me back to that first thing which sort of bothers me, death).
Now, don't get me wrong, there are many things in life we all should be concerned about. It would also be just as insane to live life without any concern for those around you. However, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about things we cannot possibly change by worrying about them.
Informed strategy to change a terrible situation (a preparation to act) is entirely different from a crippling fear of something one cannot change, which is often only a perception and NOT a reality. If you're worried you will lose your job in a few months because of a failing economy, add to your skillset to make yourself more marketable. Don't let life happen to you, go out and hunt it, and don't stop until you're satisfied that it's what you want.
Almost everyone is responsible for their own happiness, regardless of our surroundings, our upbringing, or what our friends or family tell us to think.
How does a person switch from "the glass is half-empty" to "to the glass is half-full" philosophy about life? (This is key) THROUGH ACTION!
Now, action often requires some planning, and not all action is a guarantee of success, but action sure beats the hell out of inaction. However, I will tell you, that if you want something new in your life, there will always be a cost. The price of optimism is usually hard work, personal responsibility, perseverance, and determination (the things pessimistic people always seem to avoid).
With the support of my family, my office, and the VA, I was able to both work full-time during the day and go to school 3-5 nights a week, and, in almost five years, I graduated with honors from the University of West Florida with an English Creative Writing degree. And THAT was exactly what I wanted! (I just told everyone I was going to get a teaching degree because I was too pessimistic about what I believed people would think...until recently.)
But, I'm not superman. My plan could have failed, but that would have been okay. At least I would've tried, which beats inaction every time. Cliche'? Perhaps. Does is work? Absolutely!
(For my next feat, I will write and sell a winning film script to Hollywood, over a pool of 50 hungry crocodiles!)
So, what has changed with me? Hmm… now that’s a good question, because I used to worry about almost everything. Finally getting all our kids raised and out of the house was a biggie. Kids will worry you to death. If you don’t have any, you probably worried your parents. If you don’t have any parents who worried about you, it may be the reason you’ve decided to start cutting people’s heads off, you damn crazy lunatic!
Actually, the first reason I seem to feel better is my improving health. You see, I suffer from sleep apnea, and had done so for years and didn’t realize that I was both sleep and oxygen deprived. After I was evaluated by a neurologist in a sleep study, I found out that my body woke up about 250 times a night gasping for oxygen.
Now I sleep with a machine called a CPAP, and a scary attachment which I wear over my nose when I sleep. Sure! It's creepy as hell, and at first you feel like you're laying in a h
ospital ICU, but it works! It keeps positive air pressure in my nose and lungs and I now experience the best sleep of my life! Every morning I wake refreshed and feel great (although, I still love coffee, I don't use it to stay awake anymore).
My wife was the one who finally convinced me to go in and get checked out. I won’t go into all the details. If you think you may have sleep apnea, you should see a doctor. If you snore loudly, and people have told you that you sometimes stop breathing and then jump and gasp for air, or you’re always tired or fall asleep in less than a minute, have bouts of emotional roller coaster riding, seem prone to road rage, you may have sleep apnea (or, you may simply be a crazed lunatic searching for your next victim).For those of you out there who have sleep apnea and think it won't kill you, think again. The prolonged effects of sleep apnea are stroke, hear disease, diabetes, memory problems, weight game, impotency, headaches, sometimes even emotional problems. If you don't mind those side effects, and don't worry about dying a premature death from something you could cure easily without pumping your body full of medication, by all means, carry on.
Anyway, at least for me, it’s really awe-inspiring what a good night sleep and a healthy supply of oxygen can do for your overall outlook on life. The final conclusion is that if you really want to start feeling better, you need to make sure you’re healthy, eating right, exercising, and (are you ready?) working on keeping a positive attitude.
This sometimes is the hardest part of all, but if you want to live as long as possible, and you want to fill each moment in life with happiness, rather than worrying about when the world is going to end, death (others you love or your own), or even if the Republicans or the Democrats are in office, you need to embrace an optimistic attitude about life.
In the end, all the worrying in the world is not going to change any of the above, unless by intelligently being concerned about your health you to take better care of yourself and thus keep yourself alive longer. Intelligent concern is not worry. Worry does absolutely nothing, especially if you talk about it all the time, but don't do anything about it.
If all you do is spend your time in fits of rage about something that bugs you, or stay depressed about your life, or stay drunk or stoned, or have found some other outlet to deaden the pain (because you can’t take it anymore), you really need to think about changing. Living your life this way just makes you a person nobody wants to be around (except maybe others who feel the same way, but they really don't want to be around you very long, I've heard them talk after you leave).
The other thing I’ve noticed about people who worry a lot is how they really don’t do anything productive with their lives, at least not much beyond the worry stage. They usually just spend their time reading, listening, or watching all the things on the web, radio, or television that justify all their worries. Their other free time is usually spent trying to convince other people why they should be worried (usually in emails or in casual conversations).
When I meet these people, at least these days, I simply shut them out. I try to be nice, but I make a note to keep them out of my life. I don’t need them. You don’t either.
If you are one of those people, and chances are you don't think you are, but if you're honest with yourself, you really need to change. Find out what your problem is and try to fix it. If you can’t fix it, yourself, as in my case, find a doctor, or a therapist, or a support group. Don’t let your downer-self control the rest of your future, even if you think your downer-self is a good guy.
It's not surprising that most downer people think they are the only ones who have any sense. They believe their opinions are the only reasonable ones to hold. Most of them believe they are smarter than everyone else, because they know better than to be happy about the shitty world they live in. Gee, there’s that crazy lunatic again, and don’t look now, but he (or she) is slowly trying to cut off your frickin' head, one pessimistic thought at a time.
In the end , (you crazy frickin', negative lunatics), you may indeed die ordinary deaths of old age, with what you believe to be a sound mind. In the end, whether it is at the cruel hands of dementia, Alzheimer’s, stroke, heart disease, or thousand other things which can kill you, you will have done it your way…but will you have spent your life in peace and happiness, sharing it with those you love?
Or will you have spent your short life in paralyzing fear, worry, self-centeredness, and doubt, possibly sharing all those fun empowering ideas with those you love? (Actually, if you do the last bit, I'm pretty sure you don't really love at all, or at least don't understand what love is...and that may be your problem. Perhaps, "finding love" should be my next subject).
Whatever you decide, it's your choice. But, if you keep talking that way, you may start wondering why people look at you like you're swinging a bloody axe, you frickin', crazed lunatic!
